I'd like to consider myself as a fairly nice guy. I mean, I'm not a totally sociopath at least. I honestly want other people to be happy and whatnot. But, all that said, I can definitely tell you that as I age (poorly) I find that I have less and less tolerance for douchebaggery. Odd... for some reason my spellcheck is telling me that douchebaggery isn't a word. Clearly this thing is faulty.
Anyway, despite all of my best intentions. I often find myself writing "mean" songs. Some of the oldest Volumen songs (and nearly all the PWT songs) are mean to some person or other. I guess I just can't help being an asshole. But, on the opposite side of it. It never hurts to take yourself less seriously, right? I mean, I'm more than willing to have it thrown right back in my face.
So, why all the setup? Well, being a "weirdo" into "weird music" I have lots of "weird" friends (surprisingly enough). Well, I love all of those weirdos and the weirdos that they introduce me into in other town. But, in my journeys and tours (especially in Seattle and Portland) I've noticed a particular kind of (slightly disingenuous) weirdo. So, I attempted to document this character in song. I probably should have written another verse or two, but you know how I roll. I'd rather just blast a song out and then never look back. So, let's blast away, shall we?
If you feel like playing along. Here's the tabs. NOTE: In my head the parentheses are a call and response type of thing. So, I'm hoping my brother will sing those parts for me if we manage to play this live ever.
Portland Man by Ukulele Guy
A He got tight pants (high waters) C white belt (doesn't matter) D He got a squiggly design on his v-neck shirt C D7 5 o'clock shadow and his feelings are hurt A He's got principles (I believe him) C LAST YEAR HE WAS ALMOST TOTALLY VEGAN D He heard about your favorite band before you did C D7 you read it in mojo (he already knew it) twirly C A He's a..... Portland man twirly C F G Portland man He's a..... Portland man twirly C D7 A He's got lady friends (ad infinitim) C longboards (oh, he'll ride 'em) D he knows a little place that has the best soy latte C D7 he's got perfect hair, and glitter on his body He rocks facial hair (with irony) he digs mp3 piracy his cigarette brand? (american spirits) you like his messenger bag? don't get near it chorus He's a... C E7 adorable hipster, but he's gaining weight F G because that pabst blue ribbon tastes so great